Snow White Kicking Ass

Snow White is going to kick some major ass this time around. Have you heard about Snow White and the Huntsman? Finally that stodgy old franchise has been updated to reflect woman power and the breadth of the feminie force.

Instead of being the helpless, frail thing she's always been in the past, this time around she's tough. A true warrior. Just as all women actually are. Every day. In all walks of life. Always. Be it hunting down bargains in shoes, changing diapers, officiating corporate takeovers or policing the city streets. Women have always been the true warriors. Giving birth. Putting up with men. Raising children. Generally running the world from the behind the scenes and keeping the species alive.

Finally, Snow White is as formidable a champion as any of her male counterparts. It's about freaking time!

Halloween Candy

Life is happening. Eventual. Urgent. Epidemic. No cure for the deluge. The monsters mull their mission. Devouring at their discretion. As we are all wont to do.

The orbit rules us. The apogee teases. Torn masks. and frayed fringe. Like dying lanterns and rabid racoons. The garbage collects. And we have to pretend we don't smell the stench.

Because that would prove that all those monsters are real. And we are so much more helpless than hardened hair gel and burn grilled cheese sandwiches.

alone. in the stifle of cellophane. as it tries to imagine us away from the desolation of this melting mask. these ringing doorbells. that are never sweet enough. these heavy sacks of treats that weight us down.

Existential Crises

Whatdayya say? Do you think it'll matter. Jersey Shore is fading out. No more bump it hair and chubby orange Snooki girl. America is over her.

Maybe a fairy tale is just what everyone needs. A classic story of love and betrayal and poison. Her debonaire prince. His helpless beauty. Their malicious queen. More dwarfs than you can shake a TLC programming schedule at.

She badder. A huntress. Tough and cunning. He's not rich at all. The queen isn't ugly, so much as just psycho and addicted to reality television. Times they have changed. You don't have to keep up, but you do need to clear a path.

There are gay guys to wed. calling it marriage. (gasp). not. There are politicians to vote for. calling it choice. not.

There are things to buy. That won't make us beautiful. But will foster the hope that someday we might be.

Everything else is just waiting. Ringing the doorbell. Not getting the treat.

Trick or Treat

Alas, Halloween is over. How was your Halloween? Did you gather lots of sugary sweet treats? Did you give away a ton?

The traditional princess costume was huge this year. At least in my neighborhood. Lots and lots o princesses. Mostly pink princesses, but occasionally purple ones. Rarely, but notably, a few teal princesses too. Interesting. Well, the princess costumes were popular amongst the little girls. Mostly among the girls. As for the boys, I gave Nestle crunch bars out to a disproportionately large cross-section of cowboys. There were some spidermen and a few batmen. Smatterings of other movie icons and super heroes. I believe an iron man rang my bell. But it's truly amazing how the classics make such strong showings Halloween after endless Halloween.

There were many more trick or treaters than last Halloween. With everything else being so grim, it's no wonder people want to embrace the holidays and make the most of the fun and joy they provide. Be whatever you want to be. What a brilliant holiday Halloween really is. And of course, there's the candy. Candy is always a good thing.

KISS Zombies Harry Potter Katy Perry

Who exactly is Katy Perry anyway? Wasn't she that gurl who made Elmo blush cuz she was dressed lewdly while meeting him down on Sesame Street? Why did they make Katy Perry costumes? I don't get it. It isn't cool to disrespect Elmo and his Sesame Street pals. It isn't cool at all. No sir. That sort of behavior should not be rewarded. That's the problem with our society. No one respects muppets anymore.

Zombies man. It's all about the zombies lately. It used to be about the vampires. Blood suckers and fangs. Before that it was all about the jersey shore. Totally different kinda blood suckers. Before that it was all about lady gaga. That was freaking scary. It's always about some kinda monster or another. Now it's all about your average, ordinary, run of the mill kind of zombie. How ironic. Regular zombies. How strange.

Hmmm.... final Harry Potter movie. Whoa. Major dealy-o. All those muggles are gonna wanna pretend they're witches and wizards. It happens every halloween. Damn muggles. They just don't get it. The magic comes from within. Just like the force does. Try to keep up people. We're on a schedule here. No time for slackers.

Gimme a big KISS. We're rocking n rolling our way to halloween with our tongues out and amps turned up to ten!

Sudoku Halloween Costume

I'm totally addicted to sudoku puzzles. I do several every night to relax and wind down after a long day. I start off doing a medium one to warm up. Then I do a hard one to really focus the brain on a single task. And if I'm up to it, sometimes I'll try a tough one. They aren't kidding about the tough part. Those can be very tricky.

I'm not the only one with a sudoku addiction. Tons of people love that game. Which is why I feel compelled to make it widely known that there is a sudoku Halloween costume. You can be a game of sudoku. It's even interactive. The Velcro numbers can be moved around the board that you wear. One of the best Halloween costumes ever!

You can buy the sudoku costume at costumeshopper.com

Wario Costumes

Nintendo Mario Brothers costumes have been out for a few years now. First came Mario and Luigi. Then Princess Peach and Toad soon followed. People really really dig them. Yoshi made a brief appearance, but sadly, he has vanished.

A Bowser or a Goombah might be interesting. How about Donkey Kong? I mean, after all, that's the game that first gave us the ubiquitous Mario in the first place. Well, dream as meant to be dreamt, but not always fulfilled. At least not yet. But Nintendo did licensed a new and very cool costume for this year.

Wario. Bizarro world, sometimes evil, counterpoint to their beloved protagonist, Super Mario.

I predict great Halloween success for this villainous video game alter-ego.